Front Porch Podcast – Episode 9: Inside the Kingsley Manor Fashion Show with Michael Essex and Amani Rose

Anna Hall: We’re taught from a young age to value independence. But what if our true strength is our ability to connect with others? Through conversations with the fascinating folk who live and work at Front Porch Communities and Services, we explore how community shapes us, how we can learn from people in every stage of life, and how each of us makes an impact in our own communities and beyond.

Welcome to The Front Porch Podcast. I’m your host, Anna Hall.

In a senior living community, we have many different departments that all work to build that community and make everything function. So we have Housekeeping. We have Culinary and Dining. We have Environmental Services. We have Operations. And we also have a department that at Front Porch we call Life Enrichment. It’s formerly known as “Activities”    in our industry. Before I started my first job in assisted living in my early 20s, I thought that working in activities was about calling bingo cards and going on bus trips and it’s so much more than that. I love Life Enrichment. I believe it is truly the heartbeat of a community, because it’s not about what you see on the calendar. It’s really more about all of the relationship building and the moments in between that lead people to feel inspired and safe and motivated enough to show up to life in a way that lets everyone know I am here. I matter. And you’ll miss me if I’m not here.

That’s the best part of my role in Life Enrichment. If I was sick or I called out of work, I was missed. If a resident didn’t show up at my office or attend a program or pass me in the hallway, I would feel that they weren’t there and go and seek them out. And that sense of belonging and mattering is really what this is all about and the opportunity that senior living and living in community provides. Can’t wait for you to hear this episode as Amani and Michael share their story.

Michael Essex started working with older people over ten years ago as a temporary plan while pursuing a music career. Originally from Grand Rapids, Michigan, Michael grew up traveling and performing as a background vocalist for major recording artists beginning in high school. He has his bachelor’s degree in Communication and Assisted Social Services from Indiana Wesleyan University, and has been Life Enrichment Director at Kingsley Manor for two years.

Amani Rose, Life Enrichment Leader at Kingsley Manor, got her footing in senior living while volunteering at nursing homes throughout her childhood in Seattle, Washington. After studying performing arts at the Seattle Academy of Arts and Sciences, she attended Xavier University of Louisiana in New Orleans. In her role, she plans events at Kingsley Manor, researches global holidays to bring their essence to the community and explores Los Angeles with residents.

Today I am so excited to welcome Michael and Amani to our Front Porch Podcast. You’ve come to us from Kingsley Manor, one of Front Porch’s senior living communities. You have quite a beautiful campus in Hollywood. And speaking of Hollywood, you have been doing some incredible magic in creating a fashion show at Kingsley Manor. And I believe it’s growing beyond the campus as well.

So, Michael, what brought about this idea to have a fashion show?

Michael Essex: Well, it’s funny, when I got hired on, one of the things that was asked in my interview was, what are some things that I can, bring to the table? And I was like, I want to create a fashion show because I realize one, I’m big in music and I’m big in fashion. And I wanted to create something that residents can feel, appreciated, seen, valued. Because when you look at senior fashion there’s really nothing in the market for fashion for seniors.

So I created that in my first 90 days at Kingsley.

Anna Hall: You set the bar very high. You’re like, let’s go big or go home.

Michael Essex: Yes, yes. One of my mottos is excellence is the standard and not the goal. So anything that I do, I want to do with excellence.

Anna Hall:  You do indeed. I love what you said about raising the bar, about what is possible in senior living. You wanted to take this to another level. And why, Michael? What was the impact of thinking bigger, do you think?

Michael Essex:  Well the impact is…I think it comes from my grandmother. Me and her were so close. She passed away but we were so close and I and I realized that a lot of my upbringing, I was always around elderly people, you know, so, and even my friend groups, everyone is older than me. And I realized that at the end of the day, I’m gonna get old but I still want to be lively. I still want to be, you know, upbeat. My grandmother was that way. You know, so I… anytime I do an activity, I always think like what I enjoy being if I was a senior right now living at Kingsley. If my grandmother was here, what would she want to do? And I know my grandmother’s big in fashion. She wants to go over the top.

Anna Hall:  Thank you for that. I want to say thank you. And part of what creates this internalized ageism that’s so rampant in our society because of the external ageism is people saying, well, now I’m older, I can’t do that. I shouldn’t do that. Or even the language of saying oh my goodness, I can’t believe she can still do that.

Michael Essex: Yeah.

Anna Hall:  Whereas we’re all humans living, and by virtue of living we are getting older. But that doesn’t mean we’re any less of a person with any lesser dreams or capabilities. They’re changing, of course, but change is the only constant in life. So for you to bring that experience that you’ve had with your grandmother and your comfort with older people, which I also have, like my best friends are in their 80s. You know, that’s that’s such a beautiful thing. And I’m so proud that at Front Porch, we have professionals like you and Amani who see people who… for who they are as humans and not only for their age.

Michael Essex: Yes.

Anna Hall:  So tell us more about this. What does this fashion show look like? How do you plan for it?

Michael Essex: Well I have an amazing team that backs me up with this. Of course, Amani. And then two amazing superstars that I have on my team that I’m grateful to have is Skyler and Lupe.

Anna Hall: Thank you, Skyler and Lupe. Thank you.

Michael Essex:  We ask residents if they they want to be a part of it. Of course, they’re kind of shy and scared. But to see the transformation from them being timid to rock stars is crazy. It’s just crazy to see the experience.

The residents get glammed up. We bring in professional makeup artists. We have new clothes that they wear. So they feel like, like they’re really a model. We also brought in a runway coach. So taught the residents how to walk down a runway. And these are A-list people that worked for some of the music artists that you listen to on the radio. So our residents was blessed to have the best in Hollywood. And just to see them shine down the runway was amazing to see.

Anna Hall: So this was a true experience, a real show with training. What did that training look like for the residents? How did it how was it for them to have a runway trainer and a real makeup artist?

Michael Essex: Well, I’ll let Amani speak on that.

Amani Rose: They are just so tickled by the details that go into it and just like the consideration and… You know, we are in Hollywood so they love the glam, they love the the new fashions. And it just creates this really fun buzz around the community. They’re very accommodating because we have to meet with them a lot, get their measurements.

This most recent fashion show we did, we incorporated clothing from their own wardrobe. So we did a lot of meeting in their   rooms doing try-ons.

There was one resident, I was helping her try on some things, and it turned into me

trying on things from her closet. And so it was just a really fun time.

Anna Hall: Awesome.

Amani Rose: What kind of feedback did you get from the professionals in the industry who are now having this incredible opportunity to work with older adults?

Michael Essex: So this past fashion show, we had a pageant girl come from LA. Miss LA. And she heard about it from her friend   that was volunteering. We even had people volunteer come in last minute. They’re like, we want to help. We want to…What do we need to do? People are talking. The buzz is out. And we believe this is going to be probably the biggest one we’ve done, so.

Anna Hall: I love this story about the professionals in the fashion industry, in the movie industry, meeting older adults. And it sounds like they, they probably had a transformation about how they think about maybe their own aging and interacting with older adults. You know what they say whenever we have an “ism” out there, one of the fastest ways to break that way of thinking is to go from a “those people” mindset to  oh my goodness, I met this unique individual and everything I thought about them is now blown away ‘cause I met her or I met him or I met they. Right.

Michael Essex and Amani Rose: Yeah.

Anna Hall: And so you’re making this transformation. How does that feel?

Michael Essex: Everything I do I want it to be fulfilling, you know, and, not knowing that it was going to hit so many people and so many lives. And I haven’t told Amani yet, but this fashion show has been picked up, I can’t say by who yet, but they’re going to do a documentary for this fashion show coming up. So they’re going to do a documentary about it. And it’s, it’s moving beyond my like

Amani Rose: Oh my god!

Anna Hall: For those of you who are listening, you should see Amani’s face like, glowing, glowing. Oh my goodness, this is amazing news.

Amani Rose: Michael’s like Santa Claus. He’s always bringing good news and gifts. I love it.

Anna Hall: It’s amazing when you lean into your purpose, right? When you lean into meaning and joy, how much it can grow and how contagious it is.

Michael Essex: Yeah.

Anna Hall: Congratulations.

Michael Essex: Thank you.

Amani Rose: Nice job, Michael.

Michael Essex: Yeah.

Anna Hall: Wow. So, could you tell us what was the result of last year’s fashion show? So what did that look like?

Michael Essex: So last year when we planned it, one of our volunteers were like, we need to call the news about this. And they came and did a news spread on one of our residents that was in the fashion show, which was 105 years old, walking or rolling down the runway, that was, you know, beyond, like, what we could ever imagine. It went from just a regular fashion show to being… letting the world see us in LA, you know, finally seeing us in a positive light and what we do here in our community.

People were just coming out the woodworks just for this fashion show. And it wasn’t publicized.

Anna Hall: Word of mouth is the best marketing they say. Right?

Michael Essex: For me, I would say this fashion show, past fashion show turned out to be, more of me seeing my vision actually coming to life. You know, like people really taking it and really seeing like what a forgotten community, with our senior living has been showcased. Now that we’re here, they’re here. They’re people. They need to be seen and they have stories. They are like gold, you know, like our seniors here in our community Front Porch. Our seniors are literally the heartbeat of human nature, I believe. You know what I mean?

Like the stories that they tell, you laugh, you cry with them, you know, and it’s…

Anna Hall: Try on clothes with them.

Michael Essex: It goes beyond fashion at this point.

Anna Hall: Yeah. Yeah.

Michael Essex: You’re really meeting the heart of an individual. That could be your mother, your grandmother, you know, your auntie. And how we can really learn from them.

Anna Hall: And the person who was, you know, moving down the runway in a wheelchair… We all are going to have changing abilities in our life. So to be seen and valued as a human, no matter how it is that we move through life is beautiful.

Michael Essex: Yeah.

Anna Hall:  I mean, in a way, these residents are activists and advocates for themselves, but also for others. Could you tell us a transformation story, maybe about one of those residents who was a little bit hesitant and then at the end of the day, turned out maybe she or he found his calling.

Amani Rose: There was a resident. he’s always on the move. He doesn’t really get too much involved with activities inside the community He has a nice flair to him. And we really wanted him to be a part of the fashion show. And so we asked him and he obliged. He was really excited. He didn’t, he didn’t…you know, he was also keeping a nice facade, but he was really excited.

Anna Hall: He was trying to play it cool,

Amani Rose: Yeah, exactly.

Anna Hall: but you could tell inside he was like, oh, maybe this is my moment.

Amani Rose: Yeah. And literally, as we were lining up when it was show time at the fashion show, and I just saw his smile before it was time for him to go on. And then he went out and dazzled the crowd, and it was just cool to see a side of, you know, a side of him that I hadn’t seen before. And just to see him feed off the energy of the crowd and, you know, vice versa, that it was it’s just cool to see people step into their light and, you know, feel seen and, and get excited about it.

Michael Essex: So I’m going to jump on that. So the first year we had one particular resident, she was like, I want to know that only because you’re asking me, but I don’t want a… I don’t want anything to do with fashion. I don’t want make up and anything like that. But she was the main one when the makeup artist came, she transformed. Like I thought you didn’t want to do this, now? But to the point now, the second year, residents were asking to be a part of it.

Anna Hall: You know so many times because of the incredible relationship that you have they’ll do it, to say oh I’m just going to do this to help you out, Michael. I’m going to do this to help you out, Amani. Right.

Amani Rose: Yeah, no, for sure.

Anna Hall: And then it turns into something else.

Amani Rose: Yes, exactly, exactly.

Anna Hall: Wow. So tell us, what is the vision for this year?

Michael Essex: So, this fashion show the theme is Paris meets LA. So if you can imagine the scenery, how the backdrop is going to be. Everything is going to be very glam.

Anna Hal: Is it like gowns? Couture? Did I say that right?

Michael Essex: Yes.

Anna Hall: So what’s the impact of this show been for you, Armani?

Amani Rose: This, you know, it’s that’s such a good question because this was kind of like my first big event at Kingsley Manor. I had started a couple months after Michael started. So when I… my orientation was, building this fashion show. I’ve always been a volunteer in senior living homes, and this is my first time, being an employee. And I… immediately I was so stunned by Kingsley Manor’s Life Enrichment department because I was like, this is the Universal Studios of retirement homes. I’ve never seen anything like this.

Like, I, I originally started in retirement homes, by going with my mother and my sister, and going to paint their nails. And then in high school, I went on to volunteer under the Life Enrichment director. But, yeah so all those experiences, I, I never knew that an activities department could look like this. Everything was just taken to such a higher scale. Starting off with such a huge event, it just… it from the beginning, it gave me the creative license to dream big and just, you know, we can do anything here.

Like yesterday, I made a booklet for a mind body, soul seminar, and I was just like, I think we need a mind, body soul seminar. So, let’s make something. And it’s just so because I, I’ve always been somebody that’s had so many ideas. And Michael, He’s such an executioner and I’m, I’m an air sign, and I, I, you know, I get stuck in the ether sometimes and…

Anna Hall: What a great combination the two of you though, right?

Amani Rose: Yeah, he definitely grounds me and he like, he helps me focus. And he helps me see the path. Build it and they will come.

Anna Hall: And Amani you talked about your vision for yourself and for your life. How is this role working with a great leader like Michael and a collaborator and working with the residents, how is this helping you become more of Who you are?

Amani Rose: Oh my God, this job has changed my life. Michael has seriously changed my life. I was in a really, really hard place before I started working here. I lost my mother.

Anna Hall: I’m so sorry.

Amani Rose: Thank you. Yeah. I lost my mother in 2020 when I was 20. When she passed away, I had gone from being somebody’s child to just being an adult in the world, on my own, overnight. Just things got so hard and I shelled up. And I was like, life is so hard and, like, doing taxes and, like, you know, signing a lease.

Anna Hall: Adulting and all the things.

Amani Rose: Yeah, I was like I kind of like need to like do nothing in the kind of like be in a dark room and just kind of like rest my, my mind and my spirit.

Anna Hall: And grieve and grieve.

Amani Rose: And grieve yeah. I just needed that time and then

Anna Hall: Yes.

Amani Rose: slowly I got out of that and I was like, okay, I need to start working. I need to start putting myself out there. I need to like… I need to be a member of society again.

And so I found Kingsley and I was I was looking around at a lot of places and Kingsley was my last interview and two years later, here I am.

And just like I said, just going from, you know, like not even being able to get up in the morning and like open my blinds to

Anna Hall: Yeah.

Amani Rose: you know working 40 hours a week. And not only just working, but the privilege of being able to have a creative job. Being able to find that connection and also start within too. Like okay, well, what do I like to do? And you know through doing what I like to do I can find residents who also like that. And then we can you know, create… create this class, create this event.

Anna Hall: I want to share that I was also in a very confused kind of dark place when I volunteered in senior living, in an assisted living community in Life Enrichment. Back then we called it the Activities Department. I started volunteering there because I didn’t know what to do with my life, and I was afraid I could never find something that that felt right.

And one day of volunteering, I then applied to be an activities assistant and working with older adults and the incredible people who are also working in that community. There’s a certain type of person who’s drawn to this work.

Amani Rose: Exactly.

Anna Hall: I think there’s a certain type of person who wants to have more than a job, but to really be a meaning maker in this role, which is infinite, right? The possibilities as you’ve both described.

I really think senior living saved my life. I still remember the residents that I worked with, Annette and Frances were the two people who… residents who really embraced me and helped me feel that I could have a vision for myself and a future. And here I am, 25 plus years later.

So, Michael, what brought you to senior living?

Michael Essex: It started off in high school. I was traveling with a gospel artist and so that’s what I wanted to do. So I was like, I want to do music full time.

And my mom said, “Not under my watch. You’re going to go to college and you could do music on the side.” So I said, “okay.”

I started with the YMCA club and then from there it was teaching seniors in exercise aerobics. So then it went from there to working at a senior community. And I just kept doing it, but not knowing that I was actually falling in love with it.

Anna Hall: Wait a minute. This story sounds kind of similar. We all have that experience where like, oh my goodness, could working in senior living and working with older adults actually be a thing. Let me just keep doing this and see what happens.

Michael Essex: And I just kept making myself like Well this is the only job that’s really working with my music schedule, so why not?

Anna Hall: The universe was helping you out. Yes.

Michael Essex: Moving to LA I literally was doing music full time.

Anna Hall: So, Michael, when you talk about doing music, you are an incredible singer. And we’re going to have a link to some of your music in the show notes if people would like to hear your beautiful voice.

Amani, you’re also a singer and an actress, so I’ve just got to say…

Amani Rose: Maybe I’ll do a little monologue. I’m just joking!

Anna Hall: Go for it, girl.

Michael Essex: Yeah, so, moved to LA on a music contract. So, I was doing background vocals for very big A-list artist, but still was doing part time work at a community. And I was growing within that community. I went from activities assistant to activities coordinator, not realizing, like, I’m growing in this community, but yet still traveling, you know, and then to the point where my degree came in and they… I had a dual role.

So I was working in social services, being an assistant and also activities coordinator. They moved me up to affordable housing. So I was affordable housing administrative assistant. And the president came one day and was like, Michael, you know, your next move was for you to have your own building. And I was like, oh, no, I do not want to…

Anna Hall: Oh, no!

Michael Essex: Moving to affordable housing is a whole ‘nother ballgame.

Anna Hall: It is. And Front Porch does have 32 affordable housing communities as well. You’re kind of… your vibe is in the senior living communities.

Michael Essex: Yeah. That’s when I realized that it was take me from my love working with seniors.

Anna Hall: Oh! You found your purpose.

Michale Essex: So, I was like it’s taken me away from actually being active with residents. I was like, I don’t want to do this and then it takes me away from what I actually love and taking me away from me as an individual doing music that I actually love as well.

So they’re like, well, Michael, there’s no other place for you to grow. And we want you to grow within a community and two, if you want to do activities there’s no other role right now for activities, you know.

So they suggested Front Porch. So I’ll look at the Front Porch. And that’s how I came about here.

Amani Rose: Here you are.

Anna Hall: I’m just taking a moment to take this all in. Look at the smiles on your faces. Wow. What’s your favorite part about working with with older adults on a residence.

Michael Essex: I would say it’s very relational for me. I’m big in communication and hearing people’s stories. So, it’s beyond work for me. Like even when I told Amani and the rest of my team, if you’re going to work here, you need to really enjoy being relational, because this is the number one outside of activities I’d rather you have a relationship with these residents verses activity.

Anna Hall: Yeah, I agree. 

Michael Essex: Because relationship goes a long way.

Anna Hall: Yes.

Michael Essex: You know so with me… and I feel like that’s why I’ve been in senior care for almost ten years, and I’m looking back, ten years plus. Still from my last community. I’m still have relationship with some of my senior…and their families, and they’re gone. The seniors that I have relationship with have passed away, but I’m still in communication with their daughters, their sons. I’m getting invited to weddings. I’m getting invited to baby showers because of that relation piece. And it’s to the point, like you’re building a family, another family. All my grandparents are gone. I think building relationship with a senior reminds me of like, oh, this is the love that I had with my grandmother, you know, like, you’re a second grandmother. You’re a second grandfather to me.

Anna Hall: I mean this is so beautiful. This is, this is really… That’s why I don’t love the label of activities. It’s not about that. That’s kind of like an outcome. It’s the icing on the cake. This is really about human connectivity and building relationships and building a sense of belonging, right? Where everyone can feel seen and heard for who they are as a unique individual. And it’s so beautiful that it’s what your focus is for the residents. But look at the impact that it’s had for both of you in your own lives and surrounding you through your work with connectivity and love and purpose. It’s filled…It filled something for both of you as well.

Michale Essex: Yeah.

Anna Hall: How does that connect with your ultimate goal and vision for this fashion show? Like at the end of the day when the lights go down, how do you want people to feel at the end of that show, Michael?

Michael Essex: I want people to feel like they can still dream again. No matter their age, you know. And I think I tell people all the time working in senior care… People always think it’s boring. They just play bingo. You know, and sometimes I feel like the seniors get that mentality too. I’m old. I can’t do this. So, I think me sparking a new vision of seeing a fashion show that can happen, that they probably didn’t think that can happen, that more things can happen here within their lives, within the communities. And I hope it sparks a new excitement, a new joy for more communities to do stuff like this or think outside the box. You know? I want seniors to feel that they can go beyond that. When they look at themselves in the mirror, that they can still dress up, you know, they still go put on that lip gloss or that lipstick.

Anna Hall: Try new things. Meet new people. This can be a time to unlock possibilities that maybe before you thought didn’t exist. You are creating this environment in this space for people to explore and see that they have infinite possibilities as they are adding years to their life, but not just years to their life, but quality to those years. What you do is so beautiful. Is there anything else you’d like to add about the show or about your experience at Kingsley Manor?

Amani Rose: Just something a small little anecdote that comes to my mind with everything you were saying with the never too late, you know, to change and, you know, to decide who you are and who you want to be. We recently had a resident, they’re in their hundreds and they said, hey, actually, I don’t want to be called this name anymore. I want to go by this name. And I just thought that was so epic. And so powerful because, yeah, at 100 years old and you after 100 years, you want to be called something else, more power to you. And. Absolutely. And we’ve all been respecting it.

And it’s just so cool because I remember when I went to college and I wanted to, like, start being called by my middle name, and I was so shy and I was like shy to say my name, and it’s like, it’s my name. Like, call me by my name, please. And so just him doing that, just affirmed, like the 18 year old girl in my head, like, oh yeah, you know, like, do what you want, be who you want to be. Call, you know, whatever name you want to be called by, that’s… It just gave me so much validation, I don’t know. And I was just so tickled that they decided to do that because. And that they felt comfortable enough to say, you know, to say that and to know that we would honor their request.

Anna Hall: I think this speaks to the fact that for you two it might have seemed out of the blue, but for this person, this might have been percolating subconsciously and then more into the conscious for years.

Amani Rose & Michael Essex: Yeah.

Anna Hall: And to be living in an environment and a community where it felt safe and open to say this is either who I’ve always been, but I never felt comfortable, or I’ve been in a place where I could grow and evolve and come to this new sense of who I am. I mean, that’s that’s incredible. Thank you.

That’s what this is all about. It’s not about activities, is it? Thank you both for the incredible joy and talent and focus and, purpose that you bring to Kingsley Manor every single day. We at Front Porch are so blessed to count you as part of our greater community. Thank you.

Michael Essex & Amani Rose: Thank you.

Anna Hall: You’ve been listening to The Front Porch podcast. I’m your host, Anna Hall. Our theme music was composed by Geoven Snaer and Dianne Kae Enriquez. Carmen Elena Mitchell is our producer and editor. Our recording engineer is Jeff Gall. Special thanks to Laura Darling, Kate Vermillion and Joanna Aceves for production and marketing support.

Front Porch is a dynamic nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering individuals to live connected and fulfilled lives through community and innovation. In support of this vision, Front Porch provides high quality, accessible and welcoming human services through senior living communities, affordable housing communities and other programs and services. Learn more at Front Porch.net.

If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please share it with a friend and help others find us by subscribing and leaving a review. We’ll be back soon with more stories from the fascinating folk who live and work at Front Porch. Until then, stay connected and inspired.