Front Porch Podcast – Episode 8: Belonging: The Heart of Community—with Arthur Liggins & Candace Young-Schult

Anna Hall: Welcome to The Front Porch Podcast. Join us as we uncover the extraordinary stories of people who are part of Front Porch Communities and Services, young professionals just starting their journeys, lifelong learners pursuing new passions and seasoned storytellers sharing the wisdom they’ve gained along the way. Together, we’ll explore how purpose and community shape us with stories that will inspire you to discover your own unique contribution.

Views expressed by guests on this podcast are the opinion of the speaker, and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Front Porch Communities and Services. Please see our show notes for more details.

I’m your host, Anna Hall. In this episode, we’re going to touch very deeply, actually, on the topic of belonging, I think belonging is something that we take for granted until we feel that we don’t belong. And for those of us who have had that experience of feeling like we don’t fit in or we’re not enough, or there’s not a place for me here or I’m not accepted, it is devastating.

The research shows us, and self-determination theory shows us and teaches us that feeling, a sense of belonging and connection, is a basic human psychological need. It’s required even for what we call “intrinsic motivation,” which is this natural drive to keep going in life and to do things, because we get to, not because we have to. And so belonging is literally an engine that keeps us as humans going. And we’re a social species. We talk about this a lot on the pod, how we are built to be interdependent. But there’s a difference between showing up and being somewhere, and the feeling that you are meant to be there, that you are accepted there, that you as a unique individual have a contribution to make, and others are open to learning who you are and what you bring to the table. For us at Front Porch, we’ve just released a Belonging Statement that our team members and residents helped us devise. And so I’m going to read this

Belonging Statement. At Front Porch, we celebrate each unique individual and we value you for who you are. We strengthen the heart of our community with the support we show each other by collaborating and honoring everyone’s voice.

And you’re going to hear about that in our episode with Arthur and Candace.

Arthur Liggins grew up in a segregated community in Virginia. He attended an all Black college in Greensboro, North Carolina, majoring in engineering, and was accepted in the advanced ROTC program. He was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the U.S. Air Force upon graduation in 1963, where he met his wife, Eloise, who was also an Air Force officer. Arthur retired from the Air Force after 20 years, and then worked in the aerospace industry for over 25 more. He and his wife have been residents of Carlsbad By The Sea for the past five years.

Candace Young-Schult had a 25 year career as a school psychologist in the Illinois public schools before she and her husband moved to Southern California, their home now for 30 years. Together, they moved to Carlsbad By The Sea in 2018, seeking community and accessibility. An avid traveler, reader and lifelong member of choirs, Candace enjoys creative outlets like watercolor and beading, and her genuine interest in people drives her to engage fully with her community. Candace facilitates the Women’s Group and Arthur facilitates the Men’s Group at Carlsbad By The Sea.

Candace and Arthur, welcome to The Front Porch Podcast.

Arthur Liggins: Thank you.

Candace Young-Schult: Thank you.

Anna Hall: I’d like to start off by mentioning a coincidence that we discovered getting ready for the episode. It turns out you were both born in the same town in Virginia.

Arthur Liggins: Adjacent town.

Candace Young-Schult: Adjacent towns. Right.

Anna Hall: How did you discover this?

Arthur Liggins:  When we moved in, we had met Candace, because she was part of the hospitality, welcoming committee. And then when we really got to know each other, I read her bio. And that’s where it indicated that she was born in the adjacent community.

Candace Young-Schult: In this itty bitty little railroad town.

Anna Hall: In Virginia.

Candace Young-Schult: In Virginia.

Anna Hall: Do you have any shared experiences from that commonality that you have?

Arthur Liggins: No.

Candace Young-Schult: No

Anna Hall: Very different paths. Right?

Arthur Liggins: Very different paths.

Candace Young-Schult: Well I spent  six, eight weeks in the incubator and left.

Anna Hall: So, Arthur, what was your experience like growing up in this town in Virginia under Jim Crow? As I understand.

Arthur Liggins:  You just wanted to ensure that the things that you were doing. In some way motivated others. so in that sense, you wanted to do the best that you could to possibly be an example. You wanted to be certain that what they saw of you was the best that you could provide, and the best that you could do under those circumstances.

Candace Young-Schult: Did your parents talk about it at all, or was it just assumed and it was?

Arthur Liggins: No, it was assumed. That’s what it was. They pretty much had been born into it. So, they were accustomed to it. There was nothing that they could do other than to encourage us to do the best that we could. And that’s where I got my ideals from. And my motivation to to do better was to ensure that what they were going through or what they had gone through, would not be a wasted effort.

Anna Hall: That sounds inspiring. And also like a lot of pressure.

Arthur Liggins: It was a lot of pressure, but it was the sort of pressure that a lot of my contemporaries were going through. And so one of the things was that we rallied around the church. That was our haven. Everything that we did took place in the church. You know, we had Boy Scout meetings in the church. We had any sort of group activities, group meetings took place in the church. And we had some mentors who had been through… knew what we were going through and were able to help us to get through that time.

Anna Hall: So early on, you experienced the power of of the safety that community can bring.

Arthur Liggins: Well, yeah, absolutely. Because you needed that safety factor because if you were standing in your front yard and you’d look to the mountains and you see a cross burning. It reminded you of just where you were and what you needed to do to be able to cope with that.

Anna Hall: I’m pausing for a minute, just taking that in.

And Candace, you went from an incubator to where?

Candace Young-Schult: Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

Anna Hall: Okay, what was your childhood like?

Candace Young-Schult: I was in Chapel Hill ‘til I was four, but I grew up in Illinois, a university town. So all the people there were faculty members. Their kids were faculty kids. The elementary school, I have been told, recently, had more Nobel Prize winners than any elementary school in the country.

Anna Hall: Incredible.

Candace Young-Schult: Because of where we were, we were in the middle… We were in the middle of cornfields centrally inconveniently located between Indianapolis, Saint Louis and Chicago. But a very good school that brought people from all over. So that was part of my history of knowing people from different cultures.

Anna Hall: And also growing up in somewhat of an academic ecosystem. Right.

Candace Young-Schult: Somewhat? Yeah, very much.

Anna Hall:  I’m resonating with both of you in different ways right now. So I am biracial. My mother is white and my father is Black. My father grew up in East Texas, Marshall, Texas, and he told me that he did not see a white person until he was ten years old— he was born in 1938— due to Jim Crow and the segregation. And like you, Arthur, I almost I almost got teary eyed when you talked about the motivation, that you felt to to to change your circumstances and the mountain climbing that is required to do that.

My father, became a professor of sociology at Dartmouth College.

Candace Young-Schult: Oh my!

Anna Hall: So I grew up then in Hanover, New Hampshire, in a… you know, in a college town. So right away, I’m, I’m feeling these connections with both of you. That’s incredible. And also, my father just passed away. And so I want to take this moment also to thank him for all that he taught me and to honor him. And so when I hear your story, Arthur, I want you to know how much it resonates with me and how much I thank you. And I know our audience will appreciate your willingness to share your experience. Thank you.

So, Candace, you were a school psychologist for your career. Could you tell us about that?

Candace Young-Schult: I was a school psychologist in central Illinois. It was interesting. I applied for a job and I was for Champaign-Urbana, and I knew it was faculty area. The interviewer said, “No, this is farmers you’re going to be working with.” I think. Oh, some were German speaking and did not speak English. I learned an awful lot about people and different ways of being in the world that I didn’t know in an academic community. I enjoyed it.  I worked from preschool through high school at various times. But I was fortunate to work in a rural school district who were determined to meet the needs of their kids.

Anna Hall: Candace, you mentioned that you learned a lot about human behavior. Could you tell us some of the greatest lessons that you learned working with children from pre-K all the way through high school? I bet you saw a lot.

Candace Young-Schult: Yes. Parents of children, through at least fifth grade, see hope for their children. See there’s possibility of change. When they are older. It is harder to engage a parent in believing after X number of years of whatever not working that there really are things that can happen. And that’s what a school psychologist, in conjunction with a good teacher could do.

Anna Hall: That’s really something that in your … through your career you were able to help parents keep hope alive for their children. That’s powerful. How long were you in this career?

Candace Young-Schult: Twenty-five years.

Anna Hall: How did you do that for 25 years? It sounds very taxing, incredibly rewarding, but also very taxing.

Candace Young-Schult: Summer vacation was very good.

Anna Hall: Okay.

Candace Young-Schult: And I  went home to pretty healthy kids.

Anna Hall: How many kids do you have?

Candace Young-Schult: I have three stepchildren that I got as teenagers.

Anna Hall: Ah!

Candace Young-Schult: Ah!

Anna Hall:  Ah! My son is 13. Ah!

Candace Young-Schult: Ah!

Anna Hall: I understand.

Candace Young-Schult: Yes.

Anna Hall: Incredible. What what do you take with you from from your career in your learning about human behavior into your daily life?

Candace Young-Schult: The importance of listening and not judging.

Anna Hall: Easier said than done.

Candace Young-Schult: Oh, absolutely. But the appearance is so easy to judge by. And it doesn’t necessarily reflect the truth of the person. In fact it doesn’t.

Anna Hall: I think it’s a… it’s a mindset of being curious about who is this person before you.

Candace Young-Schult: Right.

Anna Hall: And so, Arthur, you left this small town in Virginia and what was the next step for you?

Arthur Liggins: I went to college in Greensboro, North Carolina. I arrived there in ‘58. Couple of years later, by the time I was a junior, the riot and picketing had really begin to take place, quite extensively. Most of the campus was involved in the sit downs, sit-ins.

Anna Hall: The sit-ins during the Civil Rights movement. Was this the peak of it? Or the beginning?

Arthur Liggins: ‘62, yeah.. And at the same time, you had to avoid being arrested. At that time, I was in the advanced ROTC program. I had been accepted to that. And it was during the height of the Vietnam conflict or close to it. So if you got arrested you were dismissed from that program and you were ultimately kicked out of college and that opened you up to being drafted. And at that time, if you were drafted, it was like 80% chance you were going to go into the Army and you’d be in Vietnam. You had to learn how to be… to take being spit in the face and water balloons dropped on you and things of that nature to be able to go out and and just sit there and to take that.

Anna Hall: How did you hold it together?

Arthur Liggins: We had workshops that was set up to put us through that process. And they made it as terrible as possible for you to be able to cope with those situations. I learned a lot from that. And I, I think about it, I appreciated… again,nyou just had people that were lifting you up as you lifted up other people to, to be able to help you to get through that. And by the time I left college, and I’d been in the military for about three years, and I was leaving Florida, going back to visit my parents and Virginia. And the night we left Florida was the night Dr. King was assassinated. And so, I was married at that time. And Eloise, my wife, had never been to Greensboro to visit the campus where I went through. And so, I said, well, we’ll drive through on our way to Virginia. Well, when I got to A&T, the college I went to, North Carolina A&T, the campus was surrounded by Army troops and tanks and things, and they had shot up the dorm that I had lived in when I was there. So I decided I better move on and not spend the night there.

So even though I had left college and was now actively employed, there was still certain circumstances and situations you had to deal with. And if you got stationed in the South, there were things that you wanted to avoid. I wore my uniform as much as possible to try to avoid any sort of misunderstanding or situations that were not productive, if you will.

Anna Hall: Arthur, I forgot to ask you. What was your rank in the military? Could you tell us a little bit about that?

Arthur Liggins: I was lieutenant colonel. I retired as lieutenant colonel. I enjoyed the military. I thought it was a, a nurturing ground for, for me. I met a lot of incredible people in the military. And had it not been for the military, I probably wouldn’t have had the afterlife, if you will, that I did. 

Anna Hall: In aerospace?

Arthur Liggins: Yeah. it was a great learning experience. And I met Eloise in the military too, so. Had it not been for that, I’m certain I wouldn’t have met her.

Anna Hall: How did you two meet?

Arthur Liggins:  At that time, she was a single… only single Black female officer on the base. I was the only single Black male officer on the base, so. It wasn’t planned, but I knew about her because she had some friends who had been at her previous base that had arrived and told me she was coming. And so we we met and eventually we got married in ‘65. And at that time, if you wanted to have a family, females had to leave the service. She got out. She solved the problem. “I’ll just get out.”

Anna Hall: Took control of the situation.

Arthur Liggins: Absolutely. And has been doing so ever since then.

Anna Hall: Arthur, aren’t you lucky?

Arthur Liggins: Absolutely.

Candace Young-Schult: She is delightful.

Anna Hall: So what brought both of you to Carlsbad By The Sea? Let’s start with you, Candace.

Candace Young-Schult:  We lived in a condo about ten miles south of here. Two story, somewhat isolated. So no buses, no easy transportation. We both were having issues with getting up and down those stairs as often as we needed to. We found this just by mistake because there was a music appreciation class going on here, and we took… we got a tour. And we were told, “Don’t go together. If one of you doesn’t like it, that settles it.”

Roy went here and looked here and he got home and he said, “This is where you want to go. They have lots of activities and the pool is there.”  You know, we got on the list and we were on the list for three and a half years. And in those three and a half years I did something that I keep trying to convince people to do, spend an hour a day going through stuff, finding ways to get rid of it, rather than having it all at the last minute. And people go, how do you do it? Well, you don’t do it at the last minute. You have to do it as a process.

Anna Hall: It is a process because those, those items are meaningful and it’s, it’s a psychological process as much as anything.

So, how about you, Arthur. What brought you and Eloise to Carlsbad By The Sea?

Arthur Liggins: The neighborhood was changing and a lot of our friends had moved on. My wife wanted a change. She still felt that we were young enough and active enough to be able to enjoy something that we weren’t getting in the neighborhood in which we lived at the time.

Anna Hall: You both made this decision to move in with your spouse to Carlsbad By The Sea. And one of the many reasons that we wanted to talk with you on the show today is because you are both leaders of, respectively, a men’s group and a women’s group. How did that come about?

Arthur Liggins: Well first of all I, kind of, wouldn’t refer to myself as the leader, of the men’s group. I would prefer to term or use the term “facilitator.” I just picked it up from the gentleman that had it before. We were coming out of the pandemic, And I just stepped up to to do it. The men’s breakfast is a, fraternal organization, if you will. It’s an organization that provides fellowship. It gives men an opportunity to express themselves in a way that maybe there aren’t other venues available to them to do that. And we have a great time.

Anna Hall: What are some of the things that you discuss?

Arthur Liggins: We talk about a lot with what goes on in the news today.

Anna Hall: There’s a lot to talk about.

Arthur Liggins: And we try to stay away from specific, religious or political issues as such. You know, it’s kind of a high level, topical discussions. We have individuals with great backgrounds. And so we have the opportunity to hear their experiences. And we make a conscious effort to ensure that, everyone has an opportunity to say what’s on their mind. We typically have not solved any problem… as of yet. But we’re working on that. And that’s an objective that we’re going to solve a problem one time. But but we come away with a better understanding of issues that are prevalent. And the men seem to enjoy it.

Candace Young-Schult: Yes they do.

Arthur Liggins: And I think that’s the key thing,

Candace Young-Schult: How many people usually come?

Arthur Liggins: We have typically about 15 to 18 men show up.

Anna Hall: On a weekly basis…

Arthur Liggins: On a weekly basis.

Anna Hall: …that’s pretty incredible. I think you are solving a problem here in terms of creating a space for, for fellowship and safety among men who I understand are a minority.

Arthur Liggins: Well, we are.

Anna Hall: In terms of the numbers at Carlsbad By The Sea.

Arthur Liggins: Yes, we are a minority. And and that gives them the opportunity to express themselves in a way that maybe they don’t have very often to do that.

Anna Hall: What is it done for you personally?

Arthur Liggins: The opportunity to just learn from the experiences that others have gone through. And I enjoy their company. I hope they enjoy mine ‘Cause I enjoy theirs.

Anna Hall: And, Candace, tell us about the women’s group.

Candace Young-Schult: The women’s group started at the instigation of a man who was in charge of the activities committee who said, you know, there’s no women’s group. Why don’t you start one? We meet twice a month, and people say, “Well, what do you talk about?” Said, “well, there are lots of things to talk about. What’s on your mind? What’s happened in the world?” We’re not going to solve the world’s problems, but we’ll do things to solve each other’s problems or to help.

One person said, you know, this is a really good community building situation. This is where we share ideas, share concerns that don’t happen at dinner, don’t happen at happy hour. But it’s a real place where people can be together.

The second meeting of a month we have a speaker. We’ve had Paula, our executive director,

Anna Hall: Shout out to Paula, an incredible executive director and person.

Candace Young-Schult: Oh, she’s fabulous!

Anna Hall: Hi Paula.

Candace Young-Schult: She’s absolutely fabulous.

Joseph, Saint Joseph, our head of maintenance who’s just marvelous.

Anna Hall: Oh, I’ve met him. What a soul. What a soul.

Candace Young-Schult: He really is. Various organizations of the community. Meals on Wheels. Community Resource Center. So we work both learning about in-house and the greater community.

Anna Hall: Candace, why do you need a women’s group? Why not just a group of residents who get together?

Candace Young-Schult: It’s the same reason that Art doesn’t want women in his group. You didn’t say that.

Arthur Liggns: Yeah, I know. It came across though.

Candace Young-Schult: It came across. Definitely. That there’s a viewpoint. There are different needs, there are different… Yeah, it would be fun to have a coed grouptoo.

Anna Hall: Both of you are talking about something that’s very important to us as an overall Front Porch community, and that is the basic human psychological need to feel, “I belong.” And it seems like whether it’s intentional or unintentional. I think for the two of you, it’s intentional… to create these spaces where people can feel, I belong. I matter. I’m missed if I’m not here. My voice has a place here.

Arthur Liggins: Well, I think the key is— and it took me maybe a couple of years to realize this— this is home.

Candace Young-Schult:  It is.

Arthur Liggins:  I think a couple of years ago, we’ve been here five years in January, I realized because I told someone and they said, “Well, where are you going? I’m going home.” And it had taken a while for me to recognize that this is home. And and I think to a certain degree, we… there’s a psychological barrier that you have to overcome because to a lot of us, we think of this as our final move. But this is home.

And so you want to do what you can to enhance the environment in which you live in. You want to be certain that your neighbors feel safe, that they are comfortable, that they have that knowledge, that you’re looking after them, or interested in them.

Anna Hall: With this sense of, of checking in on each other and caring about each other. You’re saying that’s more ubiquitous throughout the community?

Candace Young-Schult:  Yes. Yes.

Arthur Liggins: Yeah.

Candace Young-Schult: There is one person who goes to the Care Center every day, which is the medical unit and visits the CBTS residents who are there.

Anna Hall: There’s an intentionality around….

Candace Young-Schult: Yes.

Anna Hall: Inclusion doesn’t necessarily just happen because of our best human instincts. There’s an intentionality around it.

Candace Young-Schult:  No, you have to plan it.

Arthur Liggins: Right.

Candace Young-Schult: You have to plan it. Because it’s much easier to go into the dining room, see Art and Eloise, I know them. Let’s have dinner with them. Or only eating in their rooms. That is one, I think, sad fallout from Covid and the lockdown.

Anna Hall: It’s a, it’s a habit of convenience that was formed in the middle of a pandemic. And and everyone has their choice about where they want to eat and their preferences and and all of that.

Candace Young-Schult: And the time you want to eat. You can have a glass of wine in your apartment. You can watch the news.

Anna Hall: And the social, health and community building aspect of intentional gathering is also magical.

Candace Young-Schult: Yes.

Arthur Liggins: Yes.

Candace Young-Schult: It’s how to get people to believe that they would be wanted.

Anna Hall: Oh, Candace. Say that again. That’s deep.

Candace Young-Schult: How would you get people to believe they’re wanted? You know, I would like you to be at this. I will be there. I hope you will be there. I would walk you there if that’s what’s needed. You know.

Anna Hall: So any final words that either of you would like to share? Any advice you’d like to share for other people who might be considering senior living?

Candace Young-Schult: One of the things that I love doing is walking out the front door, and at least once a week somebody says, “What is this? Do you live here? What’s it like?” You know, and it’s really interesting what people think it is and what it is.

Anna Hall: What is it? How would you describe it?

Candace Young-Schult  It’s my home. It’s exciting. There all sorts of opportunities. The food’s great. I have made good friends here. It’s comfortable. And I explain the policy of… because we are CCRC that if we needed to be moved to another apartment because we couldn’t afford what we had, it would happen and we would not be kicked out.

Anna Hall: For those of you who are not familiar C.C.R.C. stands for Continuing Care Retirement Community. They’re also referred to as “Life Plan Communities.”  What this means is that they have multiple levels of care on one campus.  We also have the Front Porch Foundation which raises money to help  people stay even if they run out of funds.

Candace Young-Schult: Right, and that… people go, “What? What did you say?” I think it’s an important thing to tell people.

Anna Hall: How about you, Arthur? Any final thoughts?

Arthur Liggins: I look at this as sort of the third iteration of my life, I guess. Okay. High school, college was the first one. Military, civilian life was my second iteration. And this is my third iteration in life. And it gives me an opportunity to take advantage and utilize what I’ve learned in the first two phases and possibly pass them on to someone else. And lastly, we have the opportunity to alleviate any concerns that our daughters may have had about us. Our future is pretty much, pretty much dictated by ourselves. So, I think it’s a win-win situation. Yeah, it’s my third awakening, if you will. And I’m thankful that Eloise decided to come.

Anna Hall: Good job, Eloise.

Candace Young-Schult: You need to meet her. She’s lovely.

Anna Hall: I… okay, on my list next time.

Thank you both for, I’m going to say it. Might make Arthur uncomfortable. Thank you for your leadership. Thank you for your love. Thank you for your care. Thank you for your perseverance. Thank you for making such a difference at Carlsbad By The Sea and beyond. We honor you at Front Porch, and we’re so grateful that you’re part of our community.

Candace Young-Schult: Thank you.

Arthur Liggins: Thank you.

Anna Hall: You’ve been listening to The Front Porch Podcast. I’m your host, Anna Hall. Our theme music was composed by Geoven Snaer and Dianne Kae Enriquez. Carmen Elena Mitchell is our producer and editor. Our recording engineer is Jeff Gall. Special thanks to Laura Darling, Kate Vermillion and Joanna Aceves for production and marketing support. The Front Porch Podcast is a production of Front Porch Communities and Services. If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please share it with a friend and help others find us by subscribing and leaving a review. We’ll be back soon with more stories from the fascinating folk who live and work at Front Porch. Until then, stay connected and inspired.